Nobody said parenting would ever be an easy task. It’s a learning process that no one gets to hack their way into all at once. Watching our kids grow through the years to become successful in life has a nice ring to it.
The truth is, it’s never that easy. Life always throws a couple of curve balls at us and we simply need to learn how to cope. No parent wants to have kids who are not independent once they grow up, that is why every parent tends to teach his/her kid how to survive in a demanding society which doesn’t forgive easily.
For most of us, we can’t fathom the thought of not trying to support our children when they encounter difficulties. Many parents are overprotective of their kids and will even insist to ensure that they are constantly being looked over by a guardian when they’re not around.
In schools, it’s pretty much the same thing. Parents tend to always support their children even when the said children are clearly in the wrong. It’s always nice to acknowledge that teachers have a duty to ensure our kids attain good grades and are well principled. Parents want that too. Unsurprisingly, due to the close ties we nurture through the years, it’s hard to believe our kids merit low scores and punishments even when they do.
How do We Cope?
Well, we can take stock of our own lives, most of our success as individuals in our workplaces have been rewarded based on our contributions. Not out of empathy from our bosses. The same lessons need to be taken home.
The French have us beat in this department. Most French homes teach their kids early on the essence of self-sustenance. Even small kids are tasked with cleaning their own rooms and performing chores around the house.
How do they do it? Well, it’s really just a culture thing. Cultures are all bout traditions which require a mental shift. We can learn from the French by embracing a laissez faire parenting style. This means taking a hands-off approach on some of the contentious issues in our kids’ life.
When we take this permissive parenting style, we let our kids learn from the world just as much as they learn from us. We start with the basic rules of play, then, let them roam the world.
Necessity is the mother of invention. Taking this approach is bound to ensure that kids learn a sense of self-dependence. Whenever they encounter challenges at school and home, they get to learn to always sort themselves and see through all the numerous situations.
On the other hand, when we spoon-feed them, kids will never learn to be independent. In this world of capitalism, it is now more essential than ever to have people that are able to think on their feet. Doing so requires raising kids who understand that every action they undertake has a list of possible ramifications. As such, they will naturally deviate away from hazardous situations towards important life choices.
By letting children face disappointments, they get to encounter the painful truth about life. It’s never a walk in the part, not everything is rosy. Typically, kids look up to us as parents to help them out when they encounter difficulties with their homework assignments,chores, interaction with their peers and sports.
Responsible parenting dictates offering wise counsel whilst letting them figure things out for themselves. We can offer practical demonstrations on how we would handle things. However, we should limit to this in order to ensure they develop a sense of responsibility and learn to own up to their mistakes. In the short term, kids may hate us for not offering enough support.
Researchers have shown that kids who get given a sense of freedom get to learn how to cope with different phenomena in their environment as compared to those who had everything done for them.
To set our kids on the path to achieving success, we need to appreciate their effort, not the result. That way, they get to learn that they harder they apply themselves, they better they perform. Having them think they performed great because they were simply ‘smarter’ or ‘better’ than others can set a very bad precedent. No one wants that.